If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
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