then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Randomize
