MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
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