Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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