i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Randomize