I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
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