I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
