What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
So vagazzling was a success
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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