Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
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