Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
