It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Still dying that you shit outside
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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