spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize