Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
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