Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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