There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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