I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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