you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
