READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
Randomize
