i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
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