end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize