oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize
