Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
