I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
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