I like my sex mixed with concussions.
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
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