Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
