Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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