Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
I stole a fireplace last night.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Randomize
