Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
Randomize
