Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
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