she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
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