I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
