dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
