They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
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