yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
