Me too!
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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