I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
