How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
