oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
