It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
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