would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
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