Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
Randomize
