garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Randomize
