my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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