You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
