So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Randomize
