that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
