im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize