so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
