Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
