so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize