Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I believe in your delicious
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
