i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
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