Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
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