just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
