They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
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