Kareoke will never be a sober sport
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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