Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
