i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
