I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
I'm just crazy horny about you
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Randomize
