it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Randomize
