On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
