I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
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