no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
