I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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