I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
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