He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
