Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
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