i just google imaged poop.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Randomize
