And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Randomize