Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
It's official drugs can't kill me
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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