How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
