It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Randomize
