this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
