the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Sext me about skeletons
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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