That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
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