I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize