mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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