can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
