we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Randomize
