You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
