So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
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