So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Randomize