Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Randomize
