I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Randomize
