if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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