maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Randomize
