I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Randomize
