I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Randomize
