ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
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