it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
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